7 Common Questions and Answers Parents Ask About Therapeutic Boarding Schools

Struggling with a good teen making bad choices can be frustrating especially when it escalates beyond typical teen behavior — you find you have lost control and authority over your teenager. After exhausting local resources, you find yourself online searching for schools for troubled teens and realize you have so many questions — there are 7 common questions parents typically ask about therapeutic schools.

First you are bombarded with websites, marketing and new terminology that can be confusing and overwhelming especially when you are stressed out and exhausted by your teen’s behavior.

After decades of helping families that are searching for the right behavioral boarding school for their struggling teen or young adult, we complied the top 7 most frequestly asked questions and answers by parents.

7 Questions Parents Ask About Placing Their Teen in Troubled Youth Programs:

1. “Should our teen help us choose the therapeutic boarding program?”

Absolutely, positively not. Up until this point of their life, they have not been making the best choices, what would convince you that they would make the right one now?

Again, with decades of experience, parents have attempted to work with their teens in hopes they would be excited about a school or a program, getting a new start – or possibly the animals or sports that the program offers, however what happens next can be anything but excitement.

Your child will start doing their own research online, telling their friends, and realizing they will not be able to take their phones, talk to friends, they will be on a schedule and life will not be the rainbows and unicorns they have been used to. In some situations, they might even miss holidays or birthdays.

If your teen is a flight risk, you are giving them time to better map out their surroundings by telling them where they will be going – or even where you are considering sending them. It is never wise for a parent to threaten a child that they will be sent away, this only starts the program off with a sense of negativity.

It is the child’s behavior that has prompted you to make this decision, no parent simply wants to send a child to residential for no reason. Every parent has their child’s wellness in the forefront.

This is a time for parents to be the parents, make the adult decision for the child that needs help. If you are placing a young adult, it is different. At 18+ years old they do have to be willing to attend. In most of these young adults’ programs your child can speak with the director and other students and get a full understanding of the program. Some young adults know they need this extra boost.

2. “My teen won’t attend a program; how do we get him/her there?”

This is probably one of the most common questions parents ask and are concerned about. Assisted transport is how most parents have successfully and safely brought their teen to residential treatment.

It is especially important to choose qualified and credentialed professionals. The transport service should be licensed and insured to transport teens and have various degrees and/or background in education, psychology, behavioral science, mental health, or other related fields.

It is natural for parents to be apprehensive about this, however after speaking with other parents that have taken this road, you will realize that many of these teens ended up becoming friends with their transports and it is not the nightmare they are imagining. They may initially be angry, but deep down your teen understands they do need help.

3. “I fear my teen will hate me forever if I send them to a therapeutic boarding school.”

Again, another quite common concern of parents, especially parents of adopted children that fear that they will exasperate abandonment issues, is will their teen hate them forever if they are sent to a therapeutic boarding school?

Initially your teen may enter the program and not like you very much (it may feel like hate to you and them) but — they will grow from their fear and anger.

Your teen will likely fear the new situation and may also promise to “do better at home” however you know that you have already heard all these promises and spent a long time trying. It is time to be the adult, be the parent and do what is best for your child.

It is at this time that talking to other parents can be incredibly supportive for you — parents that have taken this journey before you, maybe from the same program you have selected for your teen.

As the program progresses, family therapy and workshops continue to reunite all of you and work through the conflict that tore you apart. Eventually your teen will be able to understand and have gratitude for this experience.

4. “My teen is very smart; will he/she fall behind academically?”

When these teens enter boarding schools for troubled teens, most of them were A, B students and are now underachieving or barely attending classes. Many parents were dealing with school refusal, the simple act of getting out of bed to attend school was impossible.

Therapeutic settings first and foremost get your teen back on track emotionally, but they will also be working on your teenager’s academics.

Now that your teen is in a structured and consistence environment, they become more focused and start feeling good about themselves, which helps them to improve academically – either to get caught up or surpass where they were at their school at home.

5. “Don’t these programs have bad kids; my child isn’t that bad?”

 If no one had troubled teens or young adults, there would not be any need residential treatment facilities. Most schools for troubled teens are enrolled with good kids that come from good families, possibly had a good foundation, however, took a wrong turn.

The increase of technology has not helped this generation, screen-addiction, social media – they are not only facing peer pressure at school, but it is also in the palm of their hands 24/7/365.

Doing your due diligence in researching boarding schools helps you to be sure you are placing your teen in the most appropriate setting. Your teen will be with kids like themselves – and their families are like you, begging for help to get their child back to happiness and a functioning adult.

6. Are these programs only for the wealthy people?

The sticker shock of places to send troubled teens can make some parents feel hopeless – however there are financial options, and we also discuss using your medical insurance as much as you are able to.

There are educational loans available for all people, like college loans, parents must qualify for them. Some parents will take a line-of-credit on their home if that is an option, and others may turn to relatives for a loan or gift monies.

There are resources through organizations like The United Way that has free programs, however the hurdle is the child usually needs to be willing to attend.

As far as scholarship programs, when you interview a program, you can ask they if they have any available. It would likely be a reduction in tuition rather than a scholarship. It never hurts to ask.

7. What happens when my child comes home (graduates the program)?

It is normal for parents to be worried about their teen coming home, however this journey has involved the entire family. During this time there has been trial runs with home visits, family therapy, a transitional home plan that has been prepared and discussed many times for everyone to fully understand. Another words, you are not alone in this process either.

Some core components of an aftercare plan:

1. Family engagement. It is imperative that family involvement does not stop because the program ended. Set-up a routine to regularly check-in with each other, such as breakfast, dinner or driving your teen to school or their activities. Stay interested and involved in their daily lives and especially their digital ones.

2. Therapeutic support. Before your teen leaves treatment, have a therapeutic support plan in place that is part of coming home. This can include a therapist, school counselor and if your child requires ongoing medication, possibly a psychiatrist. The first appointments should be arranged for when they get home. You may also want to consider a mentor or teen coach.

3. Back to school. Another particularly important part of the transitional plan is to determine your teen’s educational path. Will they go back to their same school or switch schools (if so, have you enrolled him/her already) or have you signed them up for virtual schooling? (Do not panic, these are all issues that are thoroughly discussed in your transitional home plan with the program therapist and staff that know your child’s needs) prior leaving the school.

4. Consistent structure. Helping your teen maintain a balanced and consistent daily schedule with their daily life — such as school and their activities is imperative. This includes sleep patterns, recreational hobbies (sports, dance, etc.), exercise, limited screen-time, jobs, social life, and other areas in life, will lead them to a healthier lifestyle at home.

5. Relapse plan. No one is perfect, there will be bumps, but the positive side is the likely will not be as bad as it was before. Your teen has learned coping skills (and so has the parents), it is likely they will be angrier at themselves for slipping up. Be prepared by having your boundaries and consequences outlined in your home plan. If drugs or alcohol were involved prior your teen’s treatment, create a plan to avoid the people, places and moods that accompany the substance use. 

Bonus tip: Most of these teens entered treatment with the love of their cellphone or video gaming. During the transitional plan, it is time to create your technology agreement for the entire family.

Also read:

How to Interview Schools for Troubled Teens.

5 Benefits to a Therapeutic Boarding School.

What Is a Christian Therapeutic Boarding School?

How to Handle Teen Sibling Conflict

Why does my teen hate their sibling? Parents must be able to distinguish between healthy sibling conflict and damaging abuse. Sibling rivalry is a normal, and mostly harmless, part of growing up.

Siblings often compete without anyone getting hurt. These sometimes fierce, but balanced comparisons regarding achievement, attractiveness, and social relations with peers may actually strengthen sibling ties.

It’s natural for pre-teen and teenage siblings to fight over all sorts of things. Teenage siblings argue just as much as younger children, but they tend to fight about different things. They might also use different and more grown-up language.

Reality is, most of us realize sometimes sibling fighting can become out-of-control and someone can get hurt, either emotionally or physically. If you grew up with brothers or sisters, you know much of this is common, but in some situations, especially if a teen is suffering with depression, anxiety or anger, their impulse control can become explosive to those around them.

When sibling conflict leads to abuse

What begins as normal sibling rivalry can escalate into something more when parents fail to adequately supervise their children or teach them appropriate means of resolving conflict. In one fairly common set of circumstances, parents may leave an older sibling in charge of younger ones. The child in charge may not know how to give out appropriate discipline. When one child misbehaves, the older sibling may go to extremes to get the child to comply.

Parents often overlook, ignore, or deny cruel behavior between their children. Parents must intervene anytime there is a suspicion or danger of one child being hurt. They should also intervene after providing siblings with the opportunity to resolve their own conflicts and seeing that they may need some extra help. Timing and sensitivity is critical. 

Listen and believe your children. Never dismiss a child who says that he or she is being victimized. Also, avoid giving one child too much responsibility or power over another. Provide good adult supervision in your absence. Be sure to investigate sudden changes in mood or temperament in your child. And seek professional help if you cannot control combative or abusive behavior among your children.

Resolving sibling fighting

Encourage siblings to resolve fights themselves

Resolving arguments by themselves teaches children essential life skills, so avoid always stepping in to solve problems for them – although this might be faster and less stressful. Try asking your children to listen to each other’s perspective. Then encourage them to find a compromise.

ou can also motivate your children to resolve fights themselves. For example, if they’re fighting over the games console, take away their access to it until they can work out a solution together.

Help with problem-solving

If your children need some help, you can model problem-solving for them by helping them work out what they’re arguing about, asking them what they each want, and prompting them to come up with solutions together. Writing things down can be a good idea, because it helps them get all their ideas on paper.

Focus on what the fight is about

If they’re fighting, both children are responsible, so it’s best to focus on what the fight is about rather than on who started it. If you take sides, one child might feel unfairly treated and feel you’re showing favoritism. It’s better to get both children to state their problems, and then brainstorm possible solutions.

Help siblings calm down

Fights among siblings can bring up strong emotions. As your children work on resolving arguments and conflict, it’s good – although not always easy – for them to stay calm. They might need time or help to calm down.

Keeping track of how fights get resolved

This will help you make sure one child isn’t dominating the other. Make sure that compromise does happen, and that they’re each getting something. If they can’t compromise, create a consequence for both of them.

Seeking professional help

Therapists with training in both family therapy and family violence can help your family meet the challenge of dealing with sibling aggression. A therapeutic climate where families are encouraged and reminded of what they do well and parents learn to help children resolve conflicts on their own can reduce or eliminate sibling aggression. Parents can learn how to intervene in serious sibling conflicts immediately and effectively through a series of prescribed rules and conduct meant to encourage a win-win solution.

Parents sometimes also need to learn how to manage their own levels of anger so that they can teach their children how to manage theirs. The development, implementation and modeling of good conflict resolution skills during calm times can be helpful in moderating and reducing arguments and disagreements. Dangerous fights need to be stopped immediately. Children must be separated and taught how to calm themselves.

If you find your teen is refusing to attend counseling, and continuing to have outbursts of rage towards his family members, it might be time to learn more about the benefits of residential treatment. 

Also read:

5 Benefits of Therapeutic Boarding Schools

The Goals of Therapeutic Boarding Schools

Myths of Teen Wilderness Programs

Does my troubled teen need a wilderness program? What is wilderness therapy? Why do some therapeutic boarding schools require wilderness it before enrollment?

On a weekly basis we receive calls from parents that have parted with thousands of dollars after a conversation with someone that advises them that their teenager needs a wilderness experience. But how do you really know this? Take time to consider the following.

Wilderness programs. Why are some people always so quick to say, “Your teen needs a good wilderness experience.”

Is your teenager:

-Defiant, disrespectful, rude?
-Vaping, doing drugs, drinking?
–ADHD, ODD, RAD, Bipolar
-Addicted to their smartphone, video-gaming?
-Refusing to go to school, skipping classes?
-Smart, but failing in school?
–Withdrawing from favorite interests?
-Stealing, legal issues?
-Struggling with depression or anxiety?

If you’re experiencing a few of these teen behavior issues, know you’re not alone. 

Do you really understand what a wilderness program or wilderness therapy is? Do you understand that the majority of participants are asked to continue on to a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or Therapeutic Boarding School (TBS) – which means your teen will be starting all over again with a new therapist as well as you paying all over again for start-up fees?

Why not start and finish in one place?

Some (if not most) Educational Consultants will tell you that your teen needs to be broken down first and wilderness can do that.

In reality, any quality RTC/TBS is designed to help with these types of teens. Some of these RTC’s and TBS programs actually have the first 21-30 days that are like a wilderness however your teen is working with the same team of counselors they will be working with for the next 6-9-12 months.

Another words – it’s one program without changing staff or campuses, and you won’t be paying second fees.

Myths and facts of wilderness programs

Myth: Many parents are led to believe that the majority of quality residential programs won’t accept a teen that hasn’t completed a wilderness program. That simply is not true. 

Myth: Any teen that is using drugs needs to do a wilderness first. This is absolutely not true.

Myth: All teens do wilderness first, if not they won’t succeed. My educational consultant said so. Again, absolutely not true.

Fact: Wilderness programs are not necessary to enter a many quality therapeutic boarding schools and residential treatment centers.

Fact: Wilderness programs are an expensive band-aid. They will cost a family from $500-800 per day and the duration is about 4-9 weeks. The fact is — long lasting behavioral changes can’t take place in short-term programs. This is why the majority of students that attend wilderness programs transition on to a residential boarding school.

Consider this, it didn’t take 4-9 weeks to get to where you are today, it’s certainly not going to take 4-9 weeks to reverse that behavior – and have it stick!

In interviewing parents, since 2001, that have used wilderness programs – the feedback has been consistent. Although many students have good experiences – it was never enough to change behavior. If they had it to do over – they would opt-out and go straight to residential therapy.

Fact: Teens need consistency. Program hopping is not beneficial to anyone (except the programs that are being paid – and the professional you are paying). Finding the one residential setting that can offer your teen long-lasting changes is likely best for the entire family. In many cases, they also have parenting workshops that bring the entire family back-together.

Be an educated parent, you will make wiser and better financial decisions for your family and teenager.

Also read:

The Success Rates of Teen Help Programs

5 Benefits of Boarding Schools for Troubled Teens

5 Tips About Therapeutic Boarding Schools

Searching for schools for troubled teens online can be tedious and confusing. If this is your first time searching for therapeutic boarding schools for your teenager, you will insights before making this major decision.

5 Tips for Parents About Learning to Search for Teen Help

1. “My teen needs a Military school to teach them a lesson!” WRONG.

Military schools are a privilege and honor to attend, they are not for defiant, drug-using, depressed, or other behavioral issues students.

They do not provide mental health services – and if your teen is using drugs, drinking, or vaping now – by attending an open campus, it is likely s/he will consider the use again.

However, this time when he is caught (typically three strike you are out) and the parents will forfeit their tuition. This is the same for any of the behavioral issues they are asked to leave or expelled for – you will be risking your tuition as well as setting your child up for failure.

2. “My teen needs a wilderness program to appreciate what they have at home.” WRONG.

Wilderness programs are short-term programs will typically short-term results. It usually did not take 4-6 weeks to get to where you are right now, it will not take 4-6 (or 9 for that matter) to turn it around or have long-lasting behavioral results. Parents are usually guided (or misguided) into wilderness therapy by educational consultants that understand these programs come with step two.

Step two is moving on to a therapeutic boarding school (which you could have started with). We educate parents to find step one initially so your teen has consistency without program hopping. This not only helps your teenager from bouncing to therapists, staff, and environments – it can be most cost effective to the family.

Since 2001 we have consistently heard many misconceptions about wilderness programs – and parents need to separate fact from the myths.

Myths and Facts of Wilderness Therapy:

Myth: Many parents are led to believe that most quality residential programs will not accept a teen that has not completed a wilderness program. That simply is not true. 

Myth: Any teen that is using drugs needs to do a wilderness first. This is not true.

Myth: All teens do wilderness first, if not they will not succeed. Again, not true.

Fact: Wilderness programs are not necessary to enter a many therapeutic boarding schools and residential treatment centers.

Fact: Wilderness programs are an expensive band-aid. They will cost a family from $450-700+ per day and the duration is about 4-9 weeks. The fact is — long lasting behavioral changes cannot take place in short-term programs. Therefore, most students that attend wilderness programs transition on to a residential boarding school.

There is likely a need for wilderness therapy for some students, but to state that all teens need wilderness prior to treatment or will not be successful without it — is simply untrue.

You will stumble on programs that will tell you they won’t accept a student unless they have attended a wilderness program first — in our opinion, it likely not the program for you. Most therapeutic boarding schools or residential treatment facilities (schools for troubled teens) are trained to care for behavioral issues — it is likely they are either a transitional program or part of a bigger concern in this industry — politics (number 5).

Some programs use wilderness as a last resort, if after 90 days in a therapeutic boarding school your teen is not settling down or has become extremely defiant and aggressive – they may then refer you to this type of program. It does not need to be your first step.

3. What is the difference between a therapeutic boarding school (TBS) and residential treatment center (RTC) and what does my teen need?

The short answer is it depends on the state and how the state licenses residential programming.  There is no national standard and each of our fifty states have the responsibility to set their own licensure requirements for private-pay residential programming; many states divide up the enforcement between numerous governmental departments and some states do not even regulate private-pay residential care. The scope and specifics of state regulations vary greatly, and some states do not require independent licensure at all.  Therefore, parents must do their diligence when researching residential placement – knowing that the program does have state licensing is important.

What these programs all have in common is that they are all addressing physical, emotional, behavioral, familial, social, and intellectual/academic development; it is how that is addressed which differentiates between the TBS or RTC.

RTC’s typically have more clinical care than a TBS, however we have also seen emotional growth programs that have a strong clinical foundation. We suggest you interview the program/school that you believe best fits your teen’s emotional needs, which includes their enrichment therapies such as animal, art, music therapy and more. It is important to find a setting that will stimulate your child in a positive direction.

4. What is CARF and JCAHO accreditations? Are they necessary in choosing residential treatment?

CARF is Commission on Accreditation of Rehabilitation Facilities is an organization that oversees programs for behavioral health. If a program/school is CARF accredited, in some cases you may have a more insurance coverage. CARF accreditation can be considered a quality standard of care.

JCAHO is The Joint Commission on the Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations which is the seal of approval for hospitals, and some residential treatment centers have acquired this accreditation. JCAHO is a higher level of care, although many residential treatment centers are not JCAHO accredited, they will adhere by their standards. Being JCAHO accredited will help your insurance coverage.

More and more therapeutic programs are becoming CARF accredited not only to provide more safety and oversight for their staff and students, but to offer more reimbursement for insurance claims.

JCAHO is typically found in higher level of care facilities, although some residential treatment centers have that extra level of accreditation.

Both these accreditations are important; however, they are not necessary. For years residential treatment has been operating without them and have been successful. These are voluntary accreditations.

5. What is NATSAP and IECA seals of approval that are some programs sites? 

NATSAP is the National Association of Therapeutic Schools and Programs. This is a self-made organization that was reprimanded in a congressional hearing in 2007 for their lack of oversight of their members. Participating programs and schools pay a fee to be members to have their seal of approval on their sites.

More concerning is some parents are under the illusion that unless a program is NATSAP approved, it is not a quality program. That is simply not true. Not all schools and programs feel the need to be a member of this club, nor do they have to. Unlike CARF or JCAHO, it (NATSAP) does not offer much in benefits.

IECA are the Independent Educational Consultants of America, and their members are known as Educational Consultants that pay the fees to belong to this self-made organization. Like with NATSAP, they have their own circle of schools and programs they support and unlikely to consider those that do not want to participate (pay) to belong to private clubs.

There are many excellent schools and programs in our country today that have been around for decades that have never been involved in private organizations (clubs) and have succeeded on their reputation. It is important for parents not to be dissuaded by the politics of the troubled teen industry.

Also read:

Sucess in Therapeutic Boarding Schools

Finding Safe Therapeutic Schools

Goals of Therapeutic Boarding Schools

Sue Scheff on Digital Parenting

Your kids may always be an app ahead of you, but they will always need your parenting wisdom and guidance.

The internet is evolving on a daily basis. Wait, it’s  actually changing minute by minute, and it can be a perfect excuse for parents to say — they simply can’t keep up!

What they are forgetting is, for parents, staying in touch with technology updates and your child’s social behavior online — is now part of parenting today. In other words, you don’t have an option.

We often talk about how schools need to implement cyber-civics, and I couldn’t agree more. The gap lies with the parents.

Frequently I hear from schools and tech experts, one of the hardest things to do is getting parents involved – it’s a challenge motivating parents to attend workshops or conferences about digital parenting. Many schools will report that the turnout is typically low. Sadly, it usually takes a small town making national news for unlikely events, or worse a headline like that of the young teen that took her life in front of her family – to give parents a moment of pause. However, it’s all too soon before that pause becomes just another day. Most parents believe these things could never happen to them – or their community.

In a Common Sense Census, Plugged In Parents of Tweens and Teens, it uncovered that parents spend an average of nine hours with social media daily and the vast amount of that time is spent with personal screen media. Interestingly seventy-eight percent of the parents surveyed believe they are good technology role models for their children. Are they?

Do parents need to be reminded of social etiquette?

Like our kids, grown-ups seem to be digitally connected the majority of the day too. We want our children to be involved in digital literacy classes, yet who are we learning from?

Are you disconnected when talking to your friends?

Are you minding your cyber-manners when leaving comments on social media?

Are you asking permission before posting pictures of friends or relatives?

Are you unplugging during mealtime?

Are you texting and driving?

Being an interested parent and facing virtual reality

For most parents, they are overwhelmed with all these new apps, live streaming, sites and technology that seem to have no boundaries – and definitely never ending. It’s time for parents to jump on board – there may never be a day you will master every app or how to Snap or Tweet or even Facebook Live, however you must be a parent that is interested in learning about all of it. Why? Because your kids are!

You’re never too old to learn, even when it comes to technology.

L – Listen to your kids. You may be plugged into your own device, but you must detach from your cyber-place long enough to hear about where the youth (your kids) are trending online.

E – Engage in conversations with your kids about social media sites – online. Yes, go online with your teen and have them explain firsthand how to use apps you may fear.

A – Actively learn about new cyber-security measures to share with your family. For example how Instagram recently updated their features by adding a resource to flag posts when users are emotionally struggling.

R – Reach-out to other parents, relatives and friends. Share and learn from each other about cyber safety, apps and discuss what their kids are doing online. Chances are good – your child is also using the same sites.

N – Never stop being interested! Think of it like your child’s sports or dance team. I know parents wouldn’t miss these events – and they change schedules to make them happen. The fact is, these extra-curriculum are important to youth, but their technology skills will be with them a lifetime. Don’t lose your interest.

We encourage our kids to be good students — it’s time parents lead by example in this role too.

Don’t forget about Sext Education.

Your online behavior is an extension of your online reputation.

Improving your online behavior

The foundation of online behavior is civility. In an age of cruelty and trolling, we must learn to use our keypads wisely.

3 C’s of online behavior:

Conduct: Check-in with yourself before you post online. Become self-aware of your emotions before you hit send. Anger is temporary, online is forever.

Content: Will it embarrass you or someone else? Fifteen minutes of humor is never worth a lifetime of humiliation. Keep in mind, jokes don’t always translate the same digitally as they do offline.

Caring: Care enough about yourself to know when to click-out when you’re about to leave a snarky or mean comment.

Sue Scheff Podcast on Tilt Parenting

How to Find Therapeutic Programs When Home Therapy Isn’t Working?

This was the topic of my recent interview with Tilt Parenting. As the mental health crisis with teens is spiking, more parents are turning to therapeutic boarding schools after they have exhausted their local resources.

Listen to hear how you can find the right residential setting for your troubled teenager.

Cost of Therapeutic Boarding Schools

If you have been searching for therapeutic boarding schools for your troubled teen you may have realized the sticker shock of the tuition fees. Most of the websites do not list their fees or costs — which is likely the first clue that it is more than most can afford. Many parents search for therapeutic programs that take insurance.

It is normal for a family to want to use their medical insurance to cover a therapeutic boarding school or residential treatment center, however first they must have a better understanding of how it works in the mental health field.

Will A Therapeutic Boarding School Take My Insurance?

Yes and no is the short answer.

PPO Insurance

Depending on your insurance policy, is where you answer starts. Most PPO (Preferred Provider Organization) policies will offer out-of-network benefits after you have meet an out-of-network deductible. These providers include (but not limited to): Aetna, Cigna, United Healthcare and (UMR), and Blue Cross Blue Shield.

If you decide to stay in-network with your PPO provider, you will have more financial coverage. The one struggle parents run into is they are typically shorter-term facilities and the more concerning issue is the teenager has to be a willing participant. In other words, they don’t permit your teen to be transported to the program.

When considering private therapeutic boarding schools, PPO insurance out-of-network benefits will typically cover a portion of the clinical component of the program, however you will still have out-of-pocket costs. These schools and programs will offer you a courtesy verification of benefits (VOB) to give you a strong determination of what is covered for you. By having the program complete the VOB for you, rather than doing this yourself, you will get a more accurate result — since they have a better understanding of their billing codes.

There are some therapeutic boarding schools that will file your insurance for you and deduct it from your invoices, while other programs will give you what they call super-bills. With these super-bill invoices, you will have to file them with your provider and wait for your reimbursement.

HMO, Medicaid, Tricare Insurance

With HMO, Medicaid and most Tricare insurances, they require you to stay in-network to have financial coverage.

Tricare does have some exceptions with some of their policies providing a PPO-like coverage. Please review your policy.

When you have an insurance policy that requires you to stay in-network, you need to contact them directly and ask for residential treatment facilities in-network. In many situations, they may give you to their mental health department and assign you a case worker or have refer you to a therapist that can determine if a therapeutic facility is necessary.

There are exceptions to staying in-network — this is called a “Single Case Agreement.” If you have exhausted your resources in-network, you can ask them cover services outside of their network.

A Single Case Agreement (SCA) is a one-time contract between an insurance company and an out-of-network provider so the patient can see that provider using their in-network benefits.

There are many situations when a SCA has been successfully used.

Finding Therapeutic Boarding Schools That Take Insurance

If you are interested in private residential treatment centers or therapeutic boarding schools that will file your insurance, there are several in our country that offer this benefit. There are many that will give you super-bills for you to file your own for reimbursement. Contact us for more information.

Also read:

Financial Options for Teen Help.

Medical Health Insurance for Teens.

Educational Loans for Teen Help.

Therapeutic Boarding Schools for Troubled Teens

Struggling with a good teen making bad choices can be frustrating especially when it escalates beyond typical teen behavior — you find you have lost control and authority over your teenager. After exhausting local resources, you find yourself online searching for schools for troubled teens and realize you have so many questions — there are 7 common questions parents typically ask about therapeutic schools.

First you are bombarded with websites, marketing and new terminology that can be confusing and overwhelming especially when you are stressed out and exhausted by your teen’s behavior.

After decades of helping families that are searching for the right behavioral boarding school for their struggling teen or young adult, we complied the top 7 most frequestly asked questions and answers by parents.

7 Questions Parents Ask About Placing Their Teen in Troubled Youth Programs:

1. “Should our teen help us choose the therapeutic boarding program?”

Absolutely, positively not. Up until this point of their life, they have not been making the best choices, what would convince you that they would make the right one now?

Again, with decades of experience, parents have attempted to work with their teens in hopes they would be excited about a school or a program, getting a new start – or possibly the animals or sports that the program offers, however what happens next can be anything but excitement.

Your child will start doing their own research online, telling their friends, and realizing they will not be able to take their phones, talk to friends, they will be on a schedule and life will not be the rainbows and unicorns they have been used to. In some situations, they might even miss holidays or birthdays.

If your teen is a flight risk, you are giving them time to better map out their surroundings by telling them where they will be going – or even where you are considering sending them. It is never wise for a parent to threaten a child that they will be sent away, this only starts the program off with a sense of negativity.

It is the child’s behavior that has prompted you to make this decision, no parent simply wants to send a child to residential for no reason. Every parent has their child’s wellness in the forefront.

This is a time for parents to be the parents, make the adult decision for the child that needs help. If you are placing a young adult, it is different. At 18+ years old they do have to be willing to attend. In most of these young adults’ programs your child can speak with the director and other students and get a full understanding of the program. Some young adults know they need this extra boost.

2. “My teen won’t attend a program; how do we get him/her there?”

This is probably one of the most common questions parents ask and are concerned about. Assisted transport is how most parents have successfully and safely brought their teen to residential treatment.

It is especially important to choose qualified and credentialed professionals. The transport service should be licensed and insured to transport teens and have various degrees and/or background in education, psychology, behavioral science, mental health, or other related fields.

It is natural for parents to be apprehensive about this, however after speaking with other parents that have taken this road, you will realize that many of these teens ended up becoming friends with their transports and it is not the nightmare they are imagining. They may initially be angry, but deep down your teen understands they do need help.

3. “I fear my teen will hate me forever if I send them to a therapeutic boarding school.”

Again, another quite common concern of parents, especially parents of adopted children that fear that they will exasperate abandonment issues, is will their teen hate them forever if they are sent to a therapeutic boarding school?

Initially your teen may enter the program and not like you very much (it may feel like hate to you and them) but — they will grow from their fear and anger.

Your teen will likely fear the new situation and may also promise to “do better at home” however you know that you have already heard all these promises and spent a long time trying. It is time to be the adult, be the parent and do what is best for your child.

It is at this time that talking to other parents can be incredibly supportive for you — parents that have taken this journey before you, maybe from the same program you have selected for your teen.

As the program progresses, family therapy and workshops continue to reunite all of you and work through the conflict that tore you apart. Eventually your teen will be able to understand and have gratitude for this experience.

4. “My teen is very smart; will he/she fall behind academically?”

When these teens enter boarding schools for troubled teens, most of them were A, B students and are now underachieving or barely attending classes. Many parents were dealing with school refusal, the simple act of getting out of bed to attend school was impossible.

Therapeutic settings first and foremost get your teen back on track emotionally, but they will also be working on your teenager’s academics.

Now that your teen is in a structured and consistence environment, they become more focused and start feeling good about themselves, which helps them to improve academically – either to get caught up or surpass where they were at their school at home.

5. “Don’t these programs have bad kids; my child isn’t that bad?”

 If no one had troubled teens or young adults, there would not be any need residential treatment facilities. Most schools for troubled teens are enrolled with good kids that come from good families, possibly had a good foundation, however, took a wrong turn.

The increase of technology has not helped this generation, screen-addiction, social media – they are not only facing peer pressure at school, but it is also in the palm of their hands 24/7/365.

Doing your due diligence in researching boarding schools helps you to be sure you are placing your teen in the most appropriate setting. Your teen will be with kids like themselves – and their families are like you, begging for help to get their child back to happiness and a functioning adult.

6. Are these programs only for the wealthy people?

The sticker shock of places to send troubled teens can make some parents feel hopeless – however there are financial options, and we also discuss using your medical insurance as much as you are able to.

There are educational loans available for all people, like college loans, parents must qualify for them. Some parents will take a line-of-credit on their home if that is an option, and others may turn to relatives for a loan or gift monies.

There are resources through organizations like The United Way that has free programs, however the hurdle is the child usually needs to be willing to attend.

As far as scholarship programs, when you interview a program, you can ask they if they have any available. It would likely be a reduction in tuition rather than a scholarship. It never hurts to ask.

7. What happens when my child comes home (graduates the program)?

It is normal for parents to be worried about their teen coming home, however this journey has involved the entire family. During this time there has been trial runs with home visits, family therapy, a transitional home plan that has been prepared and discussed many times for everyone to fully understand. Another words, you are not alone in this process either.

Some core components of an aftercare plan:

1. Family engagement. It is imperative that family involvement does not stop because the program ended. Set-up a routine to regularly check-in with each other, such as breakfast, dinner or driving your teen to school or their activities. Stay interested and involved in their daily lives and especially their digital ones.

2. Therapeutic support. Before your teen leaves treatment, have a therapeutic support plan in place that is part of coming home. This can include a therapist, school counselor and if your child requires ongoing medication, possibly a psychiatrist. The first appointments should be arranged for when they get home. You may also want to consider a mentor or teen coach.

3. Back to school. Another particularly important part of the transitional plan is to determine your teen’s educational path. Will they go back to their same school or switch schools (if so, have you enrolled him/her already) or have you signed them up for virtual schooling? (Do not panic, these are all issues that are thoroughly discussed in your transitional home plan with the program therapist and staff that know your child’s needs) prior leaving the school.

4. Consistent structure. Helping your teen maintain a balanced and consistent daily schedule with their daily life — such as school and their activities is imperative. This includes sleep patterns, recreational hobbies (sports, dance, etc.), exercise, limited screen-time, jobs, social life, and other areas in life, will lead them to a healthier lifestyle at home.

5. Relapse plan. No one is perfect, there will be bumps, but the positive side is the likely will not be as bad as it was before. Your teen has learned coping skills (and so has the parents), it is likely they will be angrier at themselves for slipping up. Be prepared by having your boundaries and consequences outlined in your home plan. If drugs or alcohol were involved prior your teen’s treatment, create a plan to avoid the people, places and moods that accompany the substance use. 

Bonus tip: Most of these teens entered treatment with the love of their cellphone or video gaming. During the transitional plan, it is time to create your technology agreement for the entire family.

Also read:

Read: How to Interview Schools for Troubled Teens.

Read: 5 Benefits to a Therapeutic Boarding School.

Read: What Is a Christian Therapeutic Boarding School?

Read: What Is the Cost of Therapeutic Boarding Schools?

Signs of Teen Internet Addiction

How many parents struggle with their teen’s addiction to their cell-phone (internet) and specifically social media platforms?  This is a growing concern not only in families, but with educators and therapists. Excess screen-time has been linked to causing an increase in teen depression, anxiety, stress and even self-harm or suicidal ideation. 

How can we prevent teen internet addiction after the train has already left the station?

Managing your teen’s screen-time can be challenging but it’s also necessary in today’s digitally driven world. The fact is, technology is here to stay and we must teach our children to have a healthy relationship with technology including their social media platforms.

Why Early Prevention of Internet Addiction Is Necessary

When did you give your child their first device? There is a reason why top Silicon Valley executives are saying no to the smartphone until at least 14 for their children. In fact, there is a long list of reasons and parents need to know them.

Wait Until the 8th  invites you to learn more about why parents should consider waiting until their child is at least 14 years old before giving them a cell-phone.

Smartphones are addictive

New research shows dependence on your smartphone may produce some of the same addictive brain responses similar to alcohol, drug and gambling addictions. Smartphones are like slot machines in your children’s pocket constantly persuading them to crave more. The tech industry intentionally designs smartphone apps and social media for people to use for long periods of time because this is how they make their money.

Smartphones are an academic distraction

Elementary and middle school years establish the foundation for your child’s academic success. Children learn how to productively manage time, projects and homework. Introducing a constant distraction with a smartphone is paving a path for academic mediocrity.

The early results of a landmark study on brain development by the National Institute of Health show children who spent more than two hours a day looking at a screen got lower scores on thinking and language tests. Research from the University of Texas suggests the mere presence of your smartphone reduces cognitive capacity and test-taking brainpower. One study demonstrated that using smartphones in classrooms can even lower a student’s grade. Another study found that children who attend schools with smartphone bans did better on tests.

Smartphones impair sleep

Studies show that the use of smartphones and other portable devices with screens affects the quantity and quality of sleep in children and teens. Adolescents are likely restless because they anticipate receiving texts and social media messages from friends, which affects their nighttime routine.

Some children even wake up in the middle of the night to check texts or social media. Sleep disturbance in childhood is known to have adverse effects on health, including poor diet, obesity, weakened immune system, stunted growth, and mental health issues.

Smartphones increase the risk for anxiety and depression

Children are not emotionally equipped to navigate tricky social media waters at such an early age.  Viewing someone else’s highlight reel on social media often leads youth to think they are missing out or are not enough compared with their peers. Research shows that the more time someone uses social media the more likely they are to be depressed. A Harvard Business Review showed the more you use Facebook the worse you feel. Another report demonstrated that adolescents’ psychological well-being decreased the more hours a week they spent on screens.

In addition, when children overuse technology, the constant stimulation of the brain causes the hormone cortisol to rise. Too much cortisol can inhibit a child from feeling calm. The loss of tranquility can lead to serious anxiety disorders.

Suicide rates are on the rise especially for girls between the ages of 10 and 14 years old. For this age group, suicide rates have tripled over the past 15 years.

Read more reasons on why parents should wait to give their child a smartphone.

Tips to Curb Smartphone Addiction

It’s no secret, parents are at their wit’s end while their teen (or tween) are hooked to their devices. We are now at a point where if a parent attempts to remove (or even threatens to remove) their phone, they risk a firestorm in their home. We’ve talked to parents that have experienced property damage (holes in walls), their child that will self-harm, become explosive, rage and more — when their smartphone is removed.

Here are some ways to try to take back control:

1. Smartphone contacts:   Cell-phones are a privilege, not a right.

It’s never too late to create a smartphone and device contract with your teenager. Another example of a contract is a technology agreement, courtesy of Cyberwise. This contract and/or agreement outline the expectations of the parents, as well as the rules and responsibility of using their smartphone. With this the teens/kids have a clear understanding of the guidelines for using the phone and consequences when they break the rules.

2. Modeling smartphone behavior:  Do as I say, and as I do.

Many experts say it’s not only about monitoring but more about mentoring – reality is, it’s more about parents MODELING smartphone behavior. These teen’s already have their heels dug in. Mom and dad need to start modeling good digital behavior. For example – if you are a parent that is constantly checking their text messages or on social media, what message is that sending your child? If you bring your phone to the table for mealtime time, what example does that set? When speaking to your friends, are you also glaring at your screen? Do you leave distasteful comments online, do you overshare on social media? Do you text and drive?

Studies has shown, you are your child’s biggest influence. It’s time for parents to rethink how they use their smartphones too.

3. Lights out – screens out.  

It’s time to purchase a lockbox or safe. A simple purchase that can literally change your teen’s life and help them develop healthy sleeping patterns again.

How many times have you awoken to your teen scrolling down their screens at 2am? 3am? It’s not enough anymore to simply say it’s 10pm time to turn-off your phone. Whatever time you have designated in your contract/agreement — is the time that phones are locked-up until morning. Having a good nights rest not only will improve mental wellness, it will likely help your teen’s academic performance and overall mood.

Also read: Reducing Your Teen’s Screen-Time.

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Is your teen struggling with internet addiction or smartphone addiction? Have you exhausted your local resources? Contact us to learn more about residential treatment and how can benefit your teenager.

Social Media HelpLine Launches For Schools

#iCANHELP AND NET FAMILY NEWS INC. TEAM UP TO PILOT A SOCIAL MEDIA HELPLINE FOR SCHOOLS DURING 2015-’16 SCHOOL YEAR

With 92% of middle and high school students online daily, 24% of them “almost constantly,”* it’s time schools had some help with social media! The Helpline’s developers – #iCANHELP and Net Family News Inc. – invite you to contribute to a fundraising campaign at Indiegogo.com: http://igg.me/at/icanhelpline. The goal of the campaign is $25,000 to cover “construction costs” for piloting in California next school year – Web site construction, communications tools and staff training.

“The helpline will be the hub of a whole help ecosystem,” said Matt Soeth, co-founder of #iCANHELP, “with real-time, research-based advice, help in reporting and escalating abuse in social media services, a directory of school policy and investigation resources and a growing, searchable database of school social media case studies.”

“Contributions big or small are huge to the helpline,” said Anne Collier, president of San Jose-based Net Family News. “This is about growing the digital literacy and citizenship of all members of school communities.”

Here’s what we’re talking about:

• A call center–plus: Schools can call during school hours for real-time help, but the Web site – which will include links to sources of specialized help and a directory of resources for prevention, incident response and policymaking – is 24/7/365. To be added as cases come in: an ever-growing searchable database of anonymized school case studies. The Helpline will also be a source of metrics & trends in school online safety issues for educators, researchers, policymakers and parents.
• Schools not individuals – We’ll refer individuals to other great sources of help, but this helpline’s specifically for schools. If a member of a school community has a problem, we’ll ask him or her to work with us through their school.
• Working with social media: We’ll help schools navigate sites and apps, report abuse and get content taken down that violates Terms of Service, providing the industry with much-needed local context as a trusted intermediary.
• Part of a global network of helplines in other countries that help each other and, with a growing collective knowledge base, help users resolve problems in a global medium.
• Unique among helplines in approaching students as part of the solution and building on established student leadership education and peer-mentoring practices.
• Deep Internet safety experience: Builds on more than 15 years in the Internet safety space, working with practitioners and researchers and advising Internet companies.

About us: Net Family News is a San Jose, Calif.-based national nonprofit organization founded in 1999 to educate the public and advise the Internet industry about research and developments in technology related to youth. #iCANHELP is a Bay Area-based national nonprofit organization that creates and promotes positive, school-based solutions & interventions to anti-social behavior online.

Please make a donation to the iCanHelpline campaign at http://igg.me/at/icanhelpline

*Pew Research Center’s 2015 “Teens, Social Media & Technology” study